My green energy solution: Factory whale farming.
We would first need to secure a large enough facility for the farm. With the recent crude oil based disaster hurting the local economy, Louisiana would be the perfect location for cheap land and labor. The New Orleans Super Dome has had a history of problems and should be closed. We should be able to purchase it for a song.
We would have to caulk the doors and ticket windows – possibly spread a layer of sealant over the entire stadium and bleacher section. There aren’t a lot of windows, so the public doesn’t have to see the slaughter house and cry about “veal production”.
Using the pre-existing pump facilities associated with the levee system, it should be easy to fill the dome with sea water. We could re-circulate the water back into the storm sewers and repeat when the smell gets bad.
The most difficult part would be catching the breeding stock of Sperm Whales. That will have to be determined later. Breeding will require large quantities of lava lamps and Berry White CDs.
Feeding will be a breeze. As Obama bows to the environmental nut-jobs and stops oil drilling in the U.S. people will need clothing. Some other ARFCOM entrepreneur will need to begin a large scale leather farm. He can supply us with dead, skinned cows to feed the sperm whales. In return, we’ll provide him ground up whale meat for fertilizer and animal feed.